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Purging the Demons of the Constipated

Today I live a life of Beauty, Peace and Love.  I know – it’s a line that is usually reserved for beauty queens – but am I not one?   Many years ago – I lived a life of denial, secrecy, and as one of my friends call it – constipation.  My best friend actually revealed that prior to the day that I came out – I actually looked constipated.  Looking back at the pictures – I must agree with her.  Now that I live the life an openly gay man – my countenance is just a lot more relaxed – which I think contributes to my inward sense of being beautiful.

One of my favorite shows – and this will not be a surprise – is “Will and Grace”.  Will’s character did mention that once you come out – you can never come back inside the closet.  I agree with him because the act of coming out is very similar to that of being born into this world.

I remember the days/months/ or years leading to that fateful day.  At first – I did admit to my closest friends that I recognize that if I find that the person I love is a man – I will accept it.   Even during those moments – I could not get myself to admit that I am gay.

For most of my friends – they can actually recall the first time that they came out.  I can remember it as well.  I came out as a grown up man. I did not come out till I was in my late 20s.  The first time that I admitted that I was gay was when I had dinner with a close friend of mine.   Of course in response – she quickly set me up on a date with one of her friends who apparently was attracted to me.

After that – the revelation came to my other friends, some members of the family, and eventually my colleagues.  Yes – I am openly out at work.   The reactions are varied – but I will always cherish those reactions of joy and excitement from those who love me.

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